How to advertise like a rum-guzzling pirate

This was originally a guest post that I wrote for IttyBiz back in February 2010, but apparently Naomi got crossways with some terrorists or something and my post got taken down, so I'm reclaiming it and reposting it here for your pleasure. Grab a rum & coke and enjoy!

Those of you who know me know that I have a long and mutually rewarding relationship with Captain Morgan (the rum, not the dead pirate).

I have oft consulted the Captain (the rum, not the dead pirate) before making life-changing decisions such as starting business ventures, moving across the country, changing jobs, and having children. My boat is named the Captain Morgan, and my youngest son’s middle name is Morgan. While I have occasionally strayed and spent some time with Sailor Jerry or Ron Bacardi, I always come crawling back to the Captain (figuratively, of course). I take my rum pretty seriously.

Note: My wife’s family name is Morgan and the Captain (the dead pirate, not the rum) is actually a distant relative. I didn’t really name any of my kids after liquor.


All that being said, I pass three billboards on my way to work every morning that have recently been converted to ads for Cruzan 9 rum. I absolutely love these signs from an outdoor advertising perspective, and I’m all about sharing best practices – so I figured it was about time I did another windshield report.

The Mutiny Has Begun

Time to Put Away Your Pirate Toys

What is so great about these signs? Let me count the ways:

1. Cruzan did their homework and knows precisely who their target demographic is for this ad campaign (apparently, it’s me).


They are not-so-subtly going after loyal drinkers of Captain Morgan, particularly those who commute via car, a large percentage of whom are probably in their thirties and have been drinking Captain Morgan for a decade or more. But now they’re all grown up and have more disposable income (and a small business and a blog and a two story house and a wife and two kids and a boat named the freakin’ Captain Morgan), meaning that they may receptive to trying a new spiced rum that is a little more sophisticated.


2. The ads make you think.


They don’t say “Hey there, we have created a new blend of spiced rum, and if you normally drink Captain Morgan, we think you might actually like Cruzan 9 even more. Why don’t you pick up a bottle on your way home from work today?”. Rather, they say things like “Time to put away your pirate toys”, “The Mutiny Has Begun”, and “9 Spices. No Pirates.” If you don’t drink Captain Morgan, you might not even get the innuendo – exactly.

3. The ads are funny – both in a literal sense and in the way they subtly attack the Captain Morgan brand.


As I’ve said before, if you can make your prospects chuckle, you usually win!


I don’t know about you, but I’m going to do some serious market research on Cruzan 9 this weekend. I’ll let you know if I decide to change the name of my boat (or my kids).

In the meantime, think about how you can apply some of these concepts to your own advertising. Who, exactly, is your target demographic? Where can they be found on a daily basis (both online and off)? What products or services do they use?


How can you shake them loose with wit, wisdom, laughter, or innuendo and get them to try yours instead?

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Please click on the logo below and take a moment to read my wife's inspirational story about her battle against breast cancer. This disease has really taken a toll on our family over the past year, but many women and their families are not nearly as fortunate as us.



Even if you can't give financially, please take a couple of minutes to read her story and send her a few words of encouragement.

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Call for Guest Posts

I recently took on a promotion my day job and find myself with less time for blogging. So rather than let The Nifty 150, I'm putting out a call for guest posts.

Do you have an idea for a blog post that would benefit small business owners?

Drop me a line and pitch me!

Filters vs Features

Do you need a better noise filter?

I just read a two year old post by Chris Brogan that really struck a chord with me.

His post is about Twitter. But from a much broader perspective, at the heart of the discussion is the balance between filters (tools that help us block out some of the noise) and features (new apps, platforms, or products that supposedly add to our productivity, but can also be major sources of noise).

Both are necessary and useful. But I think we, as a marketplace and as an economy, are placing too much emphasis on the features.

Do you think there's a market for some new/better filters?

Friday Morning Quote

"Someone who gets better whenever he fails will always outperform someone who responds to failure by getting worse. This isn't something in your DNA, it's something you can learn or unlearn."

                                                                                           Seth Godin

6 Marketing Lessons from the WWE

My kids' dream job.

I have never considered myself a fan of professional wrestling. Never watched a wrestling match. Never cared.

But I have two small boys.

Those of you with kids, especially boys, are already chuckling to yourselves. For those of you who don't have kids, or boys, let me explain: Boys do not have varied interests. Rather, they go through what we poor parents refer to as "phases". During said phases boys obsess (perhaps that is too weak a word?) about whatever it is that they are currently into, be it Bob the Builder, Thomas the Train, Pokemon', Bakugan, Nerf Guns, Star Wars, or alas, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

As you probably guessed by now, my two boys are 100%, certifiably, batshit-crazy-obsessed with the WWE. Therefore, I have spent my Friday nights for the past several weeks watching Friday Night Smackdown. I'm only slightly ashamed to say I kind of like it.

I tend to look at everything through a marketer's lens, and if nothing else, I have come to respect the incredible marketing machine that is the WWE. According to Wikipedia, the WWE has been in business since 1953 and now employees 585 people, has annual revenues of over $100 million, and holds almost half a billion dollars in total assets. It didn't get that way by being bad at marketing.

So, without further adieu, here are five marketing lessons from the WWE that we can all try to apply to our own businesses:

1) Be Bold - You'll never get to the head of the pack by following everyone else. You have to stand out from the crowd. We all talk about having a unique selling proposition, but the WWE is one of those unique organizations that has truly found its USP, fostered it, and ridden it to the top. The characters (also known as "wrestlers") they employ are not only unique, they're impossible to forget.

As a result, many have become household names and brands in their own right: Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Jesse Ventura. And more recently: The Rock, The Undertaker, Edge, Kane, Big Show, Ray Mysterio, and John Cena. Chances are you've heard of at least a few of these. If not, ask the nearest ten year-old. (Or just wait - they're probably coming soon to an arena, movie theater, or state capitol near you!)

2) Tell a Story - I'll let you in on a little secret that I've only recently learned - The WWE is not about wrestling! It's more like a soap opera for boys and young men, and it's all about the plot. When Kane and Edge face off in the ring, it isn't about who is the better wrestler, it's about how Edge is going to retaliate for the illegal choke slam that Kane pulled during his match with Otunga last week, or how Kane is going to retaliate for the kidnapping of Paul Bearer (see video below!). There is always a subplot for indoctrinated fans. The more you watch, the more you know, and the more you know, the more you want to watch. Does that sound like a recipe for success?

3) Be Unpredictable - In my limited viewing experience, often the opponents in a WWE match do not even finish their match (it's not about the wrestling, remember?). Right in the middle of a match, some new person will burst onto the stage (also known as a "ring"), and BAM! - the plot thickens. I'm often left asking my nine year-old, "What just happened?". But I can't say it isn't entertaining! You never know what is going to happen next, and that keeps the viewers (also known as "customers") coming back.

4) Be Controversial - A corollary to all of these storylines and subplots is that something controversial is always happening. Someone is always cheating, someone is always out to get someone else, and occasionally, someone even gets kidnapped and hog-tied (like I said, it's entertaining!). In the world of marketing, controversy = interest. Take all the interest you can get.

5) Have an Adversary - The first time I watched wrestling with my boys, I was shocked when, right in the middle of what looked like a pretty serious match, a gang of wrestlers in matching black and yellow shirts stormed the ring and proceeded to pummel both of the opponents who started the match! My nine year old explained to me that these guys are The Nexus - they're the bad guys (though if you really get into it - which I totally don't - they aren't really "bad" per se, they've just been shunned by the establishment and joined The Nexus as a way to get a leg up in this crazy world). But I digress...My point is, having antagonists is what makes a story interesting. Good guys would be boring if there weren't any bad guys. Maybe you should go out and try to make some enemies!

6) Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously - I bet you didn't know there are over thirty types of specialty matches in the WWE. Oh yeah - there's the Battle Royal, the Casket Match, the Inferno, Hell in a Cell, Lumberjack, Strap, Triple Threat, and my personal favorite, the Punjabi Prison! I have no idea what any of this means (though my 6 year old could tell you in frightening detail), and that's the point - you don't have to know what it all means to enjoy it, and every WWE fan knows that the rules will all be broken anyway, so just enjoy the show!

So...Indulge me and check out the three minute video below courtesy of WWE Fan Nation.
Is it stupid and pointless? Yes. Is it entertaining? Hell yes! Is it marketable? Apparenty so!

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The WWE, Friday Night Smackdown, The Nexus, wrestler names, and associated terms, names, or marks are registered trademarks of the WWE and/or its affiliates. Any trademarks and/or associated names or terms are used or mentioned herein for editorial purposes only.

Words for Hire: An Intro to Web Copywriting

Many people have a hard time writing about themselves. But as small business owners, we're also "do-it-yourself" types. So there is an inherent conflict when it comes to writing content for our own small business websites, blogs, and social media platforms.

Your website, blog, and social media presence are often the first thing your potential customers will see, and you only get a few seconds to make that crucial first impression. If your website, blog, and other copy hasn't been updated in a few months, chances are it needs to be. And if you let your website, blog, and social media copy grow inaccurate and obsolete, those potential new customers may pass you by.

"Your website, blog, and social media presence are often the first thing your potential customers will see, and you only get a few seconds to make that crucial first impression."

Far too often, small business owners write their own material, then forget about it. We've all come across a company website that was out of date and/or innaccurate, and chances are we went somewhere else rather than spend time trying to find the right information.

You already knew that, right? But who has the time to keep all of this stuff accurate and current?

Did you know there are people who will do this for you? Michelle Salater, owner of Written by Sumer, is one of those people, and I jumped at the chance to interview her about this incredibly useful service. Below is a transcript of our interview:

1. My readers and I are small business owners and "do it yourself" types. Most of us have never given much thought to hiring someone to write for us. Why should we?

Any business, no matter the size, should care about their marketing message because it is their unique, compelling message that attracts prospects and gets them to convert into paying customers. First impressions are everything, especially on the web. You have seconds to clearly convey what you do, whom you serve, and what benefit you provide to your customers. Too many small business owners think they are clearly communicating through their copy, but they aren't. Businesses evolve. Services change. And so does the market.

Often, what happens is companies add information to their websites over a period of time. The result is a smorgasbord of information that can easily confuse prospects. It’s often difficult to look at our own marketing message and see what’s really being communicated. When you’re too close to a project, it’s easy to get caught up in what you think needs to be said, rather than what prospects want to hear.

Clear copy equals more sales. When you can grab a prospect's attention and hold it, when you can get prospects to see that your services or products are the solution for them, when your copy helps prospects pre-qualify themselves, you will see an increase in sales.

In addition, we've found that when we write copy for clients, our questions and our copy help the business gain clarity about their target market and about why they do what they do. The more clear a business is on whom they serve, why they exist, and the true benefits of their services / products, the quicker they attract their ideal clients and increase revenue.

2. So do you write content for web pages, blog posts, advertisements?

We write content for websites, landing page copy, blog posts, press releases, brochures, and postcards. Most of the content we write is online and all of our copy is optimized. We do not write ad copy. We've learned to stick with what we are passionate about, what we're really good at. Advertisement copy and scripts are not our area of expertise. When businesses approach us about writing ad copy or scripts for video, we refer them to copywriters who specialize in these areas.

3. How do you write content without really knowing the business?

We are asked this question a lot. 80% of what a copywriter does is research. When we work with a client, we get to know their business inside and out. Before we write a word of content, we need to know about the client's vision, their mission, and what their goals are. We ask questions until we fully understand the client's target market; What really makes them tick? What keeps them up at night? Where do they shop? What do they do for a living? That sort of thing.

We also look at the competition and we study the client's services and products. We ask a lot of questions. Once we feel we have enough information, we do keyword research. After that, we begin writing the copy. Our discovery process helps to not only write compelling content that encourages prospects to take action, but also to minimize the amount of time spent revising the copy.

4. Do you write your copy for SEO purposes, for increased sales/conversions, or both?

Both. No matter what we are writing, we write with conversion and search engines in mind.

5. What does your "typical" copywriting project look like, and how long does it take?

Our specialty is web copywriting and for an average site (under 12 pages) our turnaround time is 3-4 weeks. It doesn't take that long to write a site, but we are often booked weeks in advance. For brochures or press releases--smaller projects--turnaround can be anywhere from a week to 2 weeks. The duration depends on the client's response time and our schedule.

6. Are your projects typically one time "makeovers", or long term relationships? Which do you prefer?

We strive to build long term relationships with our clients. Occasionally we have a one-time project, but this is rare.

7. Okay, let's say I'm sold on this copyrighting thing and I want to get started. How does the process work for a small business owner?

The first step is to find a copywriter or a copywriting company you think is a good fit for your needs and your personality. Ideally, you want a copywriter that will listen to your needs, has a solid understanding of your brand, services, products, and company culture, writes compelling marketing copy, delivers on time, and is professional from beginning to end. Take a look at previous work, check them out on social media and see what people are saying, read testimonials. Do your research before contacting a copywriter or a copywriting firm. I actually wrote a blog post about this titled 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Hiring a Copywriter.

8. Are there some things I can do as a small business owner to improve my own copy writing skills and/or make it easier for a professional to come in and help me later on?

Yes. You can start by going over all of your marketing copy and circling the amount of times you use the words we, our, I, my, our team, etc. Overuse of the first person is a clear indicator that your content is too company centric. Prospects don't care that you've won 18 awards for being great nor do they care about your process. They care about what's in it for them, how their lives will be better because they purchase from you. So, take out a red pen and go over your copy. Then rewrite the areas that are company centric. Focus instead on the benefits people receive.

There are many blogs that provide excellent, free advice. Those who subscribe to my blog, Copy Doodle, can learn from our info-packed posts on writing content for websites, press releases, blogs, etc. Copy Blogger and The Bloggers' Bulletin are also excellent sources for information.

I also have a product I created for those who don't have the budget to hire a professional copywriter. My web copy critique (affiliate link) is perfect for the DIY entrepreneur or a small company that doesn't have the budget.

9. I've actually had clients tell me that they don't want their website copy or pictures to look "too professional", because it won't look like they wrote it and they want to "keep it real". Personally, I don't think it's possible to look too professional, but how would you respond such a naysayer?

This is a great question. I think the type of person you described above doesn't understand what a copywriter does. I would ask them why they assume a copywriter would write something that is too professional. Professional copywriters write all sorts of creative copy, and and write differently for each company.

We don't write for our clients. We write for our clients' customers. Whether your copy is professional in tone or more conversational depends on your target market. We look for the best way to communicate with your prospects and then craft the tone of the copy accordingly.

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Michell Salater,
Founder of Sumer, LLC

Michelle Salater is the founder and president of Sūmèr, LLC, a company specializing in web copy writing, SEO copywriting, and the promotion and marketing of websites after they launch. As an avid business blogger, Michelle has grown her small business marketing blog, Copy Doodle, to be a powerful lead generation and client education tool. Recently, Copy Doodle was listed #17 out of Technorati’s 100 Best Small Business Blogs. Michelle also speaks and coaches entrepreneurs, both privately and in online classes and workshops, on how to grow their businesses online and maximize their online marketing efforts. In 2009, Michelle won the Charleston Business Journal's Forty under 40 award for her business and community leadership. Pay her a visit at: www.writtenbysumer.com!